Incorrect Quotes - Kate Kane Edition
by Chocolate X My Mouth
Summary: Some incorrect quotes, featuring everybody's new favorite character, Kate Kane/Batwoman! (submitted to the Flash category because it has the most characters that are here) (basically a sh*tpost lol)
1. Part 1

**So yeah... no idea where this one came from. Buuuut I currently can't get to sleep sooooo yeah that's how this came to be XD**

 **Hope y'all enjoy anyway! XD**

* * *

 _ **Incorrect Quotes - Kate Kane/Batwoman Edition**_

Kate: So are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Frost: I'm a knife.

Barry, from across the room: She's the little spoon!

-0-

Kara: WHO ATE ALL MY FRIES?! I'M GONNA KI-

Kate: I did.

Kara: Kiss you and buy you some more. You deserve them.

-0-

Kate (angrily): FIGHT ME!

Barry, Oliver, Kara, Caitlin, and Cisco from the corner, whispering: Touch her and you'll never see the light of day again.

-0-

Kate: Forgive and forget?

Kate: *laughs*

Kate: No. Resent and remember.

-0-

Kate: Here's a fun Christmas idea. Hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Cisco: I don't think we can do tha-

Kate: Someone's halls are getting DECKED!

-0-

Kate: CRAP! I FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE STOVE!

Kate: *proceeds to run into traffic*

-0-

Caitlin: Putting "uwu" at the end of a sentence makes it cute and harmless.

Barry: I love you uwu

Kara: I just got food uwu

Kate: I'm gonna murder you uwu

Oliver: Please don't do that uwu

Kate: No promises uwu

-0-

(at Disneyland, on the teacups)

Barry and Caitlin: *spinning and a little talking*

Cisco and Kara: *going fast and giggling*

Oliver and Kate: *going 100 MPH and screaming*

-0-

Cisco: I'M TOO HOT! *points at Kate*

Kate:

Cisco:

Kate:

Cisco: :(

Kate (completely deadpan and devoid of any emotion): Hot damn.

Cisco: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMAN-

-0-

Kate: I've got one foot in the darkness...

Kate: And the other in a Hello Kitty roller skate.

-0-

(In "Duet")

Barry and Kara: *tap dancing and singing together*

Kate: *runs out from a corner* Why tap dance when you can lap dance?

Barry and Kara: *blushing furiously*

Kate: I swear I didn't mean to say that.

-0-

Kate: I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm more of a permanently exhausted... pirate.

Roger: *pokes his head through the window* Pirate?

Kate: _What the hECK IS HE DOING HERE?!_

Barry: _I don't know!_

-0-

Kate: I would get up, but currently there is a cat on me and therefore it is illegal.

-0-

Kate (driving): Road work ahead?

Cisco: UHH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES!

Kate: ...

-0-

Oliver: Everyone shut up, my wife's on the phone.

Oliver: *answers* Hi Felicity.

Kara: HI MRS. QUEEN!

Caitlin: Tell her I said hi!

Cisco: *makes various profane noises*

Barry: *hits the wall loudly*

Kate: *spits out cuss words*

Oliver: ...I strongly dislike all of you right now.

-0-

Kate: Hello, people who don't live here.

Cisco: Hi.

Barry: Hello.

Diggle: ...hey.

Caitlin: Hi!

Kara: Hello!

Kate: I gave you the key for emergencies.

Oliver: We were out of Doritos.

-0-

Kate: I think we're missing something.

Barry: Teamwork?

Caitlin: Partnership?

Kara: Help?

Oliver: Cohesion?

Cisco: A general sense of what we're doing?

Kate: I was gonna say a plan - but yeah, point taken.

-0-

Kate: I'm sad.

Kara: I have emotional jumper cables! I'll just attach them like so...

Kate: This is just a hug.

Kara: Is it working?

Kate (smiling): Yeah.

-0-

(Kate finds Oliver crying in the kitchen)

Kate: Are you okay?

Oliver: Yeah! Its just the onions.

Kate (angrily, to the onions): WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO OLIVER?!

-0-

Caitlin: Are they dead?

Kate: They were when I killed them.

* * *

 **I really don't know anymore. :) Hope y'all enjoyed XD**


	2. Part 2

**Oh would ya look at that this thing got an** **update**

 **Sorry guys - I didn't mean to plague the world with this... I'm sowwy XD Anyway, hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

-0-

(AU: Younger!William and Kate - babysitting)

Oliver: How'd it go?

Kate: William wanted ice cream for breakfast and when I told him he couldn't, he said I wasn't his best friend anymore, so we made a compromise.

Felicity: Which is?

Kate: He's on his second bowl of ice cream and now I'm his best friend in the whole universe.

-0-

Barry: Kate! Look what's on top of the tree!

Kate: Why is there a picture of Caitlin up there?

Barry: Because Caitlin is a star!

-0-

Kara: Do you wanna hang out this weekend?

Kate: Generic excuse.

Kara: ...Did you just say 'generic excuse'?

Kate:

Kate: Shit.

-0-

Caitlin: If I were a drink, I'd be a Cherry Vanilla Coke! What would you guys be?

Kate: Bleach.

Oliver: Sewage.

Caitlin: Okay, both of you need to calm down.

-0-

Cisco: If "tomb" is pronounced "toom" and "womb" is pronounced "woom", why isn't "bomb" pronounced "boom"?

Kate: I'm far too sober to deal with this shit right now.

-0-

Oliver: *pulls out checklist* Okay, annual crossover roll call! Barry?

Barry: Here!

Oliver: Caitlin?

Caitlin: Here!

Oliver: Kara?

Kara: Here!

Oliver: Punk ass bitch named Kate?

Kate: Uh, the "punk ass bitch" part is silent.

-0-

Kate: My friendship with Cisco is always either "I'll help you hide the body" or "Don't even breathe in my direction". There is no in between.

-0-

(about Kate)

Caitlin: She's beauty.

Barry: She's grace.

Cisco: SHE PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!

-0-

John Deegan: Its fun to chant "Bloody Mary" into your car's side mirror three times and watch her jog to try and keep up.

Kate: He's even a dick to demons!

-0-

Kate (watching the news): Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today.

Cisco (covered in ink): Maybe that squid was being an ass.

-0-

Kate: I am upset now and there is nothing that can make me feel better.

Barry:

Kate: No.

Barry:

Kate: Don't.

Barry: *brings in Caitlin and Kara*

Kate (fighting a smile): Shit...

-0-

Kate: When I die, write "Nothing is set in stone" on my grave; Its both a witty pun and a subtle warning I'll be back.

-0-

(Banging and crashing noises, getting louder)

Kara: *runs through the door, wearing light up sneakers*

Kara: I got new shoes!

Kate: ...

-0-

Caitlin: *does something on accident*

Oliver: DON'T BE SORRY!

Barry: YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN ANGEL!

Kara: WE ALL LOVE YOU!

Kate: YOU TRIED TO HELP, AND THAT WAS VERY SWEET OF YOU!

Caitlin: You're yelling nice things at me again. Its making me confused.

-0-

Kate: You all don't wanna know about my knife shoes.

Kara: I think you mean ice skates.

Kate:

Kate: Blocked.

-0-

Kate: You're always so dramatic.

Cisco: [holding a crystal wine glass, throwing rose petals, dressed all in purple velvet, draped across a piano]: I have no idea what you're talking about.

-0-

Kara: So, Kate, if you play this harmonica, you get 100 million dollars...

Kara: BUT, 100 million people will die.

Kate: *plays harmonica vigorously*

Kara: kaTE NO-

-0-

Kate: What is it that you guys do, exactly?

Barry: Kick names, take ass.

Kara: That's right.

Oliver:

-0-

Monitor: Who's in charge here?!

Kate: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

-0-

Cisco: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.

Kara: That was deep.

Barry: Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Caitlin: That was deeper.

Kate: Philosophy is wondering if that makes ketchup a smoothie.

Oliver: And common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie.

* * *

 **Hope this made ya laugh XD**


	3. Part 3

**Oh no... there's a part 3... oh no... XD**

 **Hope this isn't too big of a tragedy XD**

* * *

-0-

Barry: That went surprisingly well!

Oliver: _Everything is on fire!_

Kate: YES! LET IT BURN!

-0-

Caitlin (sitting casually in a chair, humming): I don't want a lot for Christmas.

Barry (kicking down the door): THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED!

Kara (crashing through the roof): I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS-

Kate (flying through the window): UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

Oliver (standing mortified in the doorway): What the actual hell.

-0-

Kara: I can't let you do this.

Kate: :(

Kara: ...Without me.

Kate: :D

-0-

(at 3 AM)

Cisco: *screams in his room*

Kate: *bursts in the room, fully armed* WHAT HAPPENED CISCO? ARE YOU OKAY?!

Cisco: I CAN SMELL CHRISTMAS!

Kate:

-0-

Kate: *opens shower curtains* Hey, so what do you want for breakfast?

Oliver: SOME PRIVACY!

-0-

Cisco: *walks into Kate's room, holding a camera* WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!

Kate: *incoherent gibberish*

Kara: *gets up next to her* Dude what the...

Cisco: OHOHO-*runs away laughing*

-0-

Kate: I'm telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.

-0-

Oliver: Does everyone have a weapon?

Barry: Kate doesn't have a weapon.

Kate: I am the weapon.

-0-

Kara: Look, Barry, we get that you're upset about you and Caitlin not getting to spend time together because of the writers. So we're gonna help you out.

Barry: I'm not upset.

Kate: We saw you throwing rocks at couples in the park.

Barry (crying): _WHY DO THEY GET TO BE HAPPY?!_

-0-

Oliver: Since when have I ever done anything destructive?

Kate: I keep a list. Its alphabetized.

-0-

Caitlin: Kate, did you forget to turn on the dishwasher?

Kate: *sipping water from a vase* No, why?

-0-

Kate (to Kara): I got your text... when you say you're feeling a "Taylor Swift-like range of emotions" that means I should come over, right?

-0-

Roger: Do you think sandwiches have feelings?

Kate: I'm going to give you one more chance to shut your ass up.

-0-

Kara: Hey, could you get us a table?

Kate: Sure.

(a few minutes later)

Kate: *sprinting out of the restaurant, carrying a table* BABE HELP ME!

-0-

Kate: What do I bring to the table?

Oliver: You're the cool one.

Kate: Hmm?

Oliver: I'm the hot one, Barry's the fast one, Caitlin's the smart one, Kara's the strong one, Cisco's the funny one, and you're the cool one.

-0-

Kate (holding a first-aid kit): Why would you fill this up with _Cheetos?!_

Cisco (bleeding): I thought it was funny at the time!

-0-

Kate: Where's Caitlin?

Barry: Don't worry, I got this.

Barry: *clears throat* OW!

Caitlin: *running in heels, putting on her doctor face* Barry, are you okay?!

Barry: Found her.

-0-

Kate: Destiny is calling!

Oliver: I wish destiny would lose my number.

-0-

(Kate walks in on Barry staring at the ceiling)

Kate: What are you doing?

Barry: Just stargazing.

Kate (looking up): ...Those are just pictures of Caitlin.

Barry: The stars are really pretty tonight.

-0-

Barry: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Caitlin: I've witnessed the dumb stuff.

Oliver: I've regretted the dumb stuff.

Cisco: I've recorded the dumb stuff.

Kara: I've joined you in the dumb stuff.

Kate: I've tried to stop you from doing the dumb stuff!

* * *

 **I keep marking this fic as complete but I keep seeing new quotes that make me laugh my head off**


	4. Part 4

**I'm not even gonna try and explain this fic this time. XD**

 **PS - a few of these have been taken from my Tumblr. That's where my quotes go these days - but I wanted to do just one more on here. XD**

* * *

-0-

Barry: Okay, from now on, we'll be using codenames! You can address me as "Eagle One".

Barry: Iris, codename - "Been there, done that".

Barry: Caitlin is "Currently doing that". *high fives Caitlin*

Barry: Kara is "It happened once in a dream".

Barry: Oliver, codename - "If I had to pick a dude".

Oliver: Wha-

Barry: Kate is... "Eagle Two".

Kate: Oh, thank God.

-0-

(Kate comes home to find Kara covered in Christmas lights)

Kate: What are you doing?

Kara: Hi babe! Want some Christmas cheer?

Kate: You're stuck, aren't you?

Kara: Please help.

-0-

Kate: Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.

-0-

Kate: You made me watch all 8 Harry Potter movies! I don't even like Harry Potter!

Cisco (trying not to laugh): That's insane! You love Harry Potter! You've seen all 8 movies!

-0-

Kate: Are you ready to fight Monitor?

Oliver: I was born ready. I'm Oliver f***ing Queen.

-0-

Caitlin: You know, we don't know each other well...

Caitlin: But I think I know what's going on inside your head.

Kate: Nice. Welcome to the terror dome.

-0-

Kate: You always gotta keep being positive and upbeat!

Kate: *falls down the stairs*

Kate: WOW, I sure as hell got down these stairs fast!

-0-

Kate: You wanna know how I actually sprained my wrist?

Cisco: Yes.

Kate: I attend a hula-hooping class with Kara for fitness and fun. We've gotten Barry, Caitlin, Clark, and Lois to join.

Cisco: Oh my God.

Kate: I've mastered all the moves. *shows photos on phone* The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle...

Cisco: Why are you telling me this?

Kate: *deletes photos from her phone* Because no one will ever believe you.

Cisco: You're sick.

-0-

Oliver: I have a problem-

Kate: Kill it with fire.

Oliver: Could you like, chill, for one second?

-0-

Kate: *turns on the radio in her car*

Barry: *pops up in the backseat and plays a violin*

Kara: *pops up next to Barry and plays a keyboard*

Kate: ...

Kate: _IF YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE-_

-0-

Kara: If I were a drink, I'd be a cherry vanilla Coke! What would you guys be?

Kate: Bleach.

Oliver: Sewage.

Barry: Jeez, calm down edgelords

-0-

Oliver: Monitor, we will stop you with the power of-

Kara: Friendship!

Barry: Harmony!

Kate: Raging violence.

Caitlin: And love!

-0-

Oliver: Who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Barry: *sighs* I believe its Kate's.

Kate: Break some bones out there. Just make sure they're not your own. Oh, and don't die.

Kara (sobbing): So inspirational...

-0-

Kara: Kate, let me see what you have!

Kate: A KNIFE!

Kara: kATE NO-

-0-

Kate: *is sad*

Kara: *starts tap dancing gently* What's wrong baby?

-0-

Caitlin: Where is Barry?

Kate: Don't worry about Barry.

Caitlin: I'm sorry, have you met me?

-0-

Clark: I hope you know what you're doing.

Kate: Yeah I do too.

-0-

Kate: Hey, where'd you learn to drive?

Lois (beaming): On the bumper cars!

Kate: Figures.

-0-

(something blows up in the distance)

Kate: Cisco, what did you do?

Cisco: My best!

-0-

(at Barry and Caitlin's engagement party)

Cisco (laughing): Barry, don't you dare hurt her!

Barry: Haha, I won't!

Oliver: Don't laugh. He means it.

Barry: I-I won't...

Kara: Seriously dude. Don't hurt her.

Barry: I'm not planning on it.

Clark: You better not be.

Lois: Barry, you best watch yo'self.

Barry: Why would any of you all think I would hurt Caitlin?! You're all my friends too!

Kate: Eh...

* * *

 **Honestly I think I'm done with this - for realsies this time. I have done 20 quotes every chapter, which makes 80 quotes in total. XD**


End file.
